So as shocked as you might be to hear this alcohol and weightloss DO NOT go together very well...I know this is shocking news and I am currently thinking of some miraculous amazing alcohol that can be consumed and does not end up settling on my arse...
It's funny because no matter how many people tried to tell me this I would not listen. I guess I needed to see it for myself. I had see it give me yet another damned hangover, I had to see it make me eat that hot dog, I had to see it make me want to have KFC the morning after and I had to see it gobble up any good work I had done the weeks before.
Alcohol will be the end of any progress I have made and quite frankly has been. It is like walking the down an UP escalator. You will get there in the end but only if you run fast enough and honestly I freakin hate running so that solves that. There is not an alcohol in this world (hence why I am in innovation mode) that doesn't make you hungry or convince you that shotting straight vodka is a good idea. (just a note even straight vodka still has calories and also comes with a complimentary little voice telling you to eat that gigantic Big Mac in the taxi on the way home).
I am becoming a Monday to Friday Weight Watcher, it's like my other full time job and I get to relax on the weekend. SO it now looks like I am going to have to start working 7 days a week 24 hours a day and I am going to do it all for free because thats just the type of person I am...most of the time!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
I know what you did the in the dressing room...
I am sure at some level most people can relate to this but to us "soon to be reformed" fatty's (as I am one I am allowed to use this term) a dressing room is the epitome of hell. Sometimes I would rather walk through a bonfire, ride on the giant drop, sit through a 5 day test match and probably give away all my shoes, than see myself from ten different angles in a fluorescent dressing room.
See I love shopping, no wait I love the idea of shopping. I love the Sex and the City idea of shopping. Glamorous, no budget shopping....then I catch my reflection in the donut king window.
So when I try clothes on I avoid the mirrors like the plague. It's simple really keep your head down at all times and only look up when 1. you feel that dress actually fits and all your bits are covered or 2. when you can't manage to do your bra back up. Now get out of there as fast as you can and try to dump the clothes on random hangers as quickly as possible before someone asks you "so how did they go"?...And you think "same as last time you silly skinny bitch..."
All joking aside I am actually beginning to believe that this is going to work. I can't believe I have never tried weight watchers before. I have always heard people raving about it but I didn't believe that it would work. But there are thousands of ladies (and men) of this program that have lost huge amounts of weight and have kept it off...these people are my motivation to keep my sticky hands out of newly packaged cadbury chocolate blocks...
See I love shopping, no wait I love the idea of shopping. I love the Sex and the City idea of shopping. Glamorous, no budget shopping....then I catch my reflection in the donut king window.
So when I try clothes on I avoid the mirrors like the plague. It's simple really keep your head down at all times and only look up when 1. you feel that dress actually fits and all your bits are covered or 2. when you can't manage to do your bra back up. Now get out of there as fast as you can and try to dump the clothes on random hangers as quickly as possible before someone asks you "so how did they go"?...And you think "same as last time you silly skinny bitch..."
All joking aside I am actually beginning to believe that this is going to work. I can't believe I have never tried weight watchers before. I have always heard people raving about it but I didn't believe that it would work. But there are thousands of ladies (and men) of this program that have lost huge amounts of weight and have kept it off...these people are my motivation to keep my sticky hands out of newly packaged cadbury chocolate blocks...
Friday, September 11, 2009
Studying and eating may make you fat...er
So for some daft reason I thought it would be a great idea to start a diploma in property services. Now normally this is a great idea you know further my career and knowledge "yada yada " you know how it goes but I am not sure this was such a great idea whilse trying to lose weight.
Why is it that eating and studying seem to go hand in hand? Wait is this just me???
As soon as I sit down to "study" (which usually leads to me watching repeats of sex and the city actually I would watch antique roadshow to avoid reading about property legislation) I start thinking about food...
"Mmmm god that chocolate mudcake would be awesome right now"
OR " maybe a glass of wine and some cheese would be help me concetrate?"...(doubtful very doubtful).
I think I have come to a conclusion...
Maybe I should stop working full time and become a student with no money so I couldn't afford proper food...now that sounds like a failsafe way to avoid all things dangerous, that is besides cask wine and two minute noodles...
Why is it that eating and studying seem to go hand in hand? Wait is this just me???
As soon as I sit down to "study" (which usually leads to me watching repeats of sex and the city actually I would watch antique roadshow to avoid reading about property legislation) I start thinking about food...
"Mmmm god that chocolate mudcake would be awesome right now"
OR " maybe a glass of wine and some cheese would be help me concetrate?"...(doubtful very doubtful).
I think I have come to a conclusion...
Maybe I should stop working full time and become a student with no money so I couldn't afford proper food...now that sounds like a failsafe way to avoid all things dangerous, that is besides cask wine and two minute noodles...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Food for thought...(no pun intended)
This is what I found after googling "fighting the fat"...
"Fighting the fat gene takes 3-4 hours a day" My goodness who ever wrote this needs to get their hand off it...Lets tell every person wanting to lose weight that there is no need to worry because you only need 3-4 hours a day to get it off...I bet is some skinny minny who eats donuts for breakfast...
"Top 12 fat fighting foods" I will believe that when I see it. When I see a little ninja jump out of my food and fight that fat with a little mini numchuck I will eat my foot...
I am desperately trying to fight my boredom, which normally leads to eating (maybe one of the fat fighting ninja's isn't such a bad idea)...
"Fighting the fat gene takes 3-4 hours a day" My goodness who ever wrote this needs to get their hand off it...Lets tell every person wanting to lose weight that there is no need to worry because you only need 3-4 hours a day to get it off...I bet is some skinny minny who eats donuts for breakfast...
"Top 12 fat fighting foods" I will believe that when I see it. When I see a little ninja jump out of my food and fight that fat with a little mini numchuck I will eat my foot...
I am desperately trying to fight my boredom, which normally leads to eating (maybe one of the fat fighting ninja's isn't such a bad idea)...
Like the silent tree falling in the forest.... food actually has no calories if no one sees you eating it
So this is the beginning of my blogging career...
Not sure if my brain will follow with this line of thinking BUT I figure if I am willing to tell the world (or the three people who will perhaps read it) that I am fighting the fat, then perhaps I am actually going to follow this one through...
My whole life I have been the pretty girl who is overweight (just for the record that "compliment" is not in fact a compliment). It's like hearing someone saying "shame that little kid is drawing all over the wall and kicking that person in the shins because he really is cute". So it's time I changed this and become just the pretty, healthy, fit girl (well hopefully). So I am currently in an all out war with alcohol, chocolate, chips, ice cream, pastry, full cream milk, white bread, pasta, rice oh god the list goes on. One day we shall be friends again (or maybe frenemies) but for now I hate them like a 17 year old girl who just found out her best friend kissed her boyfriend. No doubt they will make an appearance my life again but I will never forget what they did to me...
In my attempt to lose this weight I have started paying for a personal trainer once a week. So as much as I know that he is there to help sometimes I just want to throttle him and while he has me doing ridiculous yoga positions, whilst holding my abs in and still trying to breathe, I am thinking about trying to figure out which car is his so I can slash his tyres and key his car. He is forcing my abs to come out of hiding, I tried to explain to him that they are quite happy hiding behind baggy shirts and self pity but surprise surprise he didn't listen. He is the man I love to hate.
I will leave it there for today...
"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake."
Not sure if my brain will follow with this line of thinking BUT I figure if I am willing to tell the world (or the three people who will perhaps read it) that I am fighting the fat, then perhaps I am actually going to follow this one through...
My whole life I have been the pretty girl who is overweight (just for the record that "compliment" is not in fact a compliment). It's like hearing someone saying "shame that little kid is drawing all over the wall and kicking that person in the shins because he really is cute". So it's time I changed this and become just the pretty, healthy, fit girl (well hopefully). So I am currently in an all out war with alcohol, chocolate, chips, ice cream, pastry, full cream milk, white bread, pasta, rice oh god the list goes on. One day we shall be friends again (or maybe frenemies) but for now I hate them like a 17 year old girl who just found out her best friend kissed her boyfriend. No doubt they will make an appearance my life again but I will never forget what they did to me...
In my attempt to lose this weight I have started paying for a personal trainer once a week. So as much as I know that he is there to help sometimes I just want to throttle him and while he has me doing ridiculous yoga positions, whilst holding my abs in and still trying to breathe, I am thinking about trying to figure out which car is his so I can slash his tyres and key his car. He is forcing my abs to come out of hiding, I tried to explain to him that they are quite happy hiding behind baggy shirts and self pity but surprise surprise he didn't listen. He is the man I love to hate.
I will leave it there for today...
"Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
