So it seems trying to regularly write in this blog is about the same as trying to "diet"...I am getting no where! I am successful at getting nowhere...Now thats a good slogan!
I truly dont understand why I'm not making any progress, okay well thats a lie!! I do know, its called alcohol and that overwhelming desire to inhale any food that comes my way whether it be biscuits and cheese or chocolate! When I drink I am like a hoover vacuum cleaner...NO SCRAPS HERE!!!
The hardest part about losing weight is definitely changing your mindset! And it drives me nuts that for some people it just comes so easy. I can bust my arse eating only 1400 calories a day, 2 litres of water and exercise at least 4 times a week and get nowhere and yet there always seems to be someone who can just eat protein and drink some water and maybe go for a short 30 minute walk and they are losing 10kg's???
So currently my mindset is...no actually I am not going to share that, no one wants to read a newly single mums potty mouth! So lets just stick with "frustrated" as the mindset shall we??
I am frustrated that my skinny arse partner could eat out at Sizzlers everyday of the week and still not get fat
Im frustrated that everyone keeps telling me that I am beautiful and that I look good considering I have just had a baby...the word considering in that sentences kind of defeats the compliment doesnt it? I dont want to just look beautiful, I want to FEEL beautiful and right now I am so far from that place!
I am frustrated that although I may think I look "nice" in the mirror before I go somewhere I then catch a glimpse of myself in the basket robbins window (just browsing it's ok) and I look fat and frumpy and notice that those "sucky inny" knickers just push all my unwanted cuddly bits up around my boobs, when I sit down my neck joins my boobs and I am just one large sausage that talks too much!!!
So frustrated I am and frustrated I will stay unless I can figure out what is going on...or I guess what is not going on or off!
oh and by the way whose stupid idea was it for me to buy a packet of bloody mint slices?!?!?!?!?!?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The scariest thing you will ever see...
Getting back onto the weightloss bandwagon is hardwork dagnammit...I have been "dieting" since the beginning of this month and only today did I have my first piece of chocolate in three weeks (a 50% less fat mint pattie...exciting much?) I practically inhaled it, it disappeared faster than the speed of light and I could have eaten another 5...Its amazing how addicted one can become to chocolate or even food in general.
Last week I was a nutcase, nagging and bitching and just being a general pain in the arse...even while I was doing it (or saying it), I was thinking to myself "SHUT UP Tess!!!! No one cares if the cutlery is left on the sink and not in the cup to drain, no one cares the towels weren't hung out evenly, no one cares that there is water on the bathroom sink"...but I just couldn't stop! So after Pete told to me "calm the F down" and stormed out of the room and I cried a few "woe is me" tears I realised why I was being such a crazy pain the royal arse....
I was having withdrawals from chocolate and sugar...once I realised, it made SO much sense!
Before my "diet" (no wait lets call it "healthy lifestyle change") I was a true chocolate freak! I could smell chocolate before it even made it through the front door in the grocery bags, I was like an over eager puppy, luckily I am very well toilet trained and dont pee on the floor when I get excited. I would eat 5 mint slices in one go, plus hot chocolates, plus tim tams plus plus PLUS...it was insane and disgusting.
So note to self: Should I ever have to plan wedding, dieting and NOT eating chocolate is forbidden, god its even too scary to imagine...
Oh and diet tip #1: Use the microwave door as a mirror, unforgiving bathroom mirrors no longer needed...
Last week I was a nutcase, nagging and bitching and just being a general pain in the arse...even while I was doing it (or saying it), I was thinking to myself "SHUT UP Tess!!!! No one cares if the cutlery is left on the sink and not in the cup to drain, no one cares the towels weren't hung out evenly, no one cares that there is water on the bathroom sink"...but I just couldn't stop! So after Pete told to me "calm the F down" and stormed out of the room and I cried a few "woe is me" tears I realised why I was being such a crazy pain the royal arse....
I was having withdrawals from chocolate and sugar...once I realised, it made SO much sense!
Before my "diet" (no wait lets call it "healthy lifestyle change") I was a true chocolate freak! I could smell chocolate before it even made it through the front door in the grocery bags, I was like an over eager puppy, luckily I am very well toilet trained and dont pee on the floor when I get excited. I would eat 5 mint slices in one go, plus hot chocolates, plus tim tams plus plus PLUS...it was insane and disgusting.
So note to self: Should I ever have to plan wedding, dieting and NOT eating chocolate is forbidden, god its even too scary to imagine...
Oh and diet tip #1: Use the microwave door as a mirror, unforgiving bathroom mirrors no longer needed...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tears, tantrums and pickles
Have you ever had a craving for something and thought to yourself "I must pick some of that up when I am at the supermarket again"? Well getting a craving when you are pregnant is like be possessed by a very scary 4 year old child demanding a kinder surprise at the supermarket checkout. It takes over, all you can think about is that particular item of food. Sometimes it isn't even food...
I believe a beautiful friend of mine nearly jumped over a boost juice counter when they told her they "didn't do just orange juice with pulp" (yes Kimi I may be talking about you =)...
I once had a craving for pickles that was so strong I nearly knocked over a little old lady in the supermarket to get to that golden jar. I would have eaten them then and there in the "condiments, pasta sauce and of course pickle" aisle but my wonderful boyfriend (although he risked losing an eye) wouldn't let me.
It is hard to explain (and I can quite confidently say that I though it was all a lot of bogus before I fell pregnant) but it takes over your brain and you have to have it. And they come at the most unusual times. Just the other day I woke up with an instant craving for a vanilla sponge cupcake with pink icing...
Now all these cravings aren't really being so helpful when it comes to not trying to gain too much weight whilst this little peanut grows inside me (oh god even my unborn baby has a reference to food) but at least on the upside I also cannot get enough fruit. In the beginning I ate half a watermelon in one sitting, quickly following by a couple of mango's. And then I would proceed to moan and groan about how crap I felt and I how much I hated "him" (the boyfriend) for getting me pregnant. I can only assume he is now very relieved that I am no longer suffering morning sickness.
However, that was short lived after he realised he would now have to be prepared for me bursting into tears after reading soppy wedding proposals...
I believe a beautiful friend of mine nearly jumped over a boost juice counter when they told her they "didn't do just orange juice with pulp" (yes Kimi I may be talking about you =)...
I once had a craving for pickles that was so strong I nearly knocked over a little old lady in the supermarket to get to that golden jar. I would have eaten them then and there in the "condiments, pasta sauce and of course pickle" aisle but my wonderful boyfriend (although he risked losing an eye) wouldn't let me.
It is hard to explain (and I can quite confidently say that I though it was all a lot of bogus before I fell pregnant) but it takes over your brain and you have to have it. And they come at the most unusual times. Just the other day I woke up with an instant craving for a vanilla sponge cupcake with pink icing...
Now all these cravings aren't really being so helpful when it comes to not trying to gain too much weight whilst this little peanut grows inside me (oh god even my unborn baby has a reference to food) but at least on the upside I also cannot get enough fruit. In the beginning I ate half a watermelon in one sitting, quickly following by a couple of mango's. And then I would proceed to moan and groan about how crap I felt and I how much I hated "him" (the boyfriend) for getting me pregnant. I can only assume he is now very relieved that I am no longer suffering morning sickness.
However, that was short lived after he realised he would now have to be prepared for me bursting into tears after reading soppy wedding proposals...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Getting fat and squishy watermelons….
So after much neglect I am returning to my little blog world. Current population? Well just me…
Just going to give a little rundown on what has been happening for me over the last few months. So just a little a note for my fellow "fat fighting" peeps…getting pregnant is not a good idea for winning this battle. Yes yes that’s right I fell pregnant, much to me and my personal trainer's dismay (though I don't know what he was complaining about, he still got paid even though I didn't go)
Me.Oh.My finding out was such a joyous time (insert four year old sarcastic tone here). Let me just set a little scene for you. It was a normal Tuesday in November, where for some crazy reason I felt like vomiting and passing out, now I was just blaming this on the rather large few weekends I had had and thought it was a prolonged hangover but alas I was wrong. Turns out, after rushing to the chemist (after a rather pushy, yet amazing much loved, friend forced me) purchased the most expensive pregnancy test on the shelf, and performing the il-fated test…I was pregnant. I think I cried, then laughed then cried some more. I was like one of those crazy ladies in a mental asylum that laughs at funerals and cries on birthdays. It was not pretty.
So after four more home tests and a trip to the doctor it was definitely confirmed. I was growing a human inside my already "too large" stomach.
Now over the last few weeks (I was 5 weeks when we found out and I am now nearly 19 weeks) it has been nothing short of a roller coaster. We have moved into a ridiculous apartment with four flights of stairs, so we are on the house hunting bandwagon yet again and oh what fun that is. I have had disgusting morning/morning tea/lunch/afternoon tea/dinner sickness which feels like I have had many weeks of drinking copious amounts of alcohol, getting home at 4am and still not being able to throw up. It truly is a wonderful feeling and I cannot wait to put myself through this again...oh and I have turned into a really grumpy grandma that makes the crazy cat lady from the simpsons look normal.
Now don't get me wrong creating a family is amazing but being pregnant is NOT.
On the upside there is all the mushy stuff like seeing your little peanut in the first ultrasound, feeling the first movement and having my wonderful boyfriend dote on me night and day.
Now I know that this blog is about losing weight but really how much more interesting will it be for my readers (i.e. me reading back over what I have written ten times), if it is about GETTING fat, squeezing a rather long squishy watermelon out of my lady lumps, being sleep deprived and YET still being determined to be fit, healthy and beautiful???
Not to mention I can only vent so much on Facebook before people start deleting me…
Just going to give a little rundown on what has been happening for me over the last few months. So just a little a note for my fellow "fat fighting" peeps…getting pregnant is not a good idea for winning this battle. Yes yes that’s right I fell pregnant, much to me and my personal trainer's dismay (though I don't know what he was complaining about, he still got paid even though I didn't go)
Me.Oh.My finding out was such a joyous time (insert four year old sarcastic tone here). Let me just set a little scene for you. It was a normal Tuesday in November, where for some crazy reason I felt like vomiting and passing out, now I was just blaming this on the rather large few weekends I had had and thought it was a prolonged hangover but alas I was wrong. Turns out, after rushing to the chemist (after a rather pushy, yet amazing much loved, friend forced me) purchased the most expensive pregnancy test on the shelf, and performing the il-fated test…I was pregnant. I think I cried, then laughed then cried some more. I was like one of those crazy ladies in a mental asylum that laughs at funerals and cries on birthdays. It was not pretty.
So after four more home tests and a trip to the doctor it was definitely confirmed. I was growing a human inside my already "too large" stomach.
Now over the last few weeks (I was 5 weeks when we found out and I am now nearly 19 weeks) it has been nothing short of a roller coaster. We have moved into a ridiculous apartment with four flights of stairs, so we are on the house hunting bandwagon yet again and oh what fun that is. I have had disgusting morning/morning tea/lunch/afternoon tea/dinner sickness which feels like I have had many weeks of drinking copious amounts of alcohol, getting home at 4am and still not being able to throw up. It truly is a wonderful feeling and I cannot wait to put myself through this again...oh and I have turned into a really grumpy grandma that makes the crazy cat lady from the simpsons look normal.
Now don't get me wrong creating a family is amazing but being pregnant is NOT.
On the upside there is all the mushy stuff like seeing your little peanut in the first ultrasound, feeling the first movement and having my wonderful boyfriend dote on me night and day.
Now I know that this blog is about losing weight but really how much more interesting will it be for my readers (i.e. me reading back over what I have written ten times), if it is about GETTING fat, squeezing a rather long squishy watermelon out of my lady lumps, being sleep deprived and YET still being determined to be fit, healthy and beautiful???
Not to mention I can only vent so much on Facebook before people start deleting me…
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